Archive for October, 2009

Fourth Step To Beating Addiction–Point Of Hel–

Wednesday, October 28th, 2009

Hi everybody,

So far, we’ve looked at creating reality, understanding why you believe things the way you do, and group dynamics.

But, that still seems pretty disjointed, doesn’t it.

Well, here’s what puts it all together.

You have to have someone who is in control. It could be a mentor, a counselor, a facilitator, or a coach.

Let me show you why.

Remember the story by William Golding called the Lord Of The Flies.

It’s about a group of well-raised English students who crash landed on an island. No adults survived.

They quickly decided they must form a society to succeed.

They divided into groups where those who hunted quickly took the dominance, as they brought the food that sustained the group.

But, the hunters were selfish and doled out punishment mercilessly to any who opposed them.

Soon, a death occurred needlessly.

Chaos broke loose, and they quickly became savages acting out of control.

And, then–

they were found.

And, when the Naval officer stood over them, order appeared to be restored.

Well, great–what’s that got to do with beating addiction.

When you have a group that has no natural or ordained leader, chaos occurs.

You need someone to set the tone, the goals, and the planned outcomes to overcome the chaos.

You need, in short, what I call a Point Of Help.

This is why I feel that a lot of 12 Step Programs do NOT succeed.

The group comes together–they talk about their failures, and their successes (talking about failures can merely reinforce them, instead of moving on), and they become friends with fellow addictees, all who believe they have no hope of overcoming their addiction, while admitting they are powerless.  (I believe that you can rely on God’s Holy Spirit to help, but YOU have to make the choice, which means you need to use YOUR POWER to choose.)

When you put these keys together, you can start the process of ridding yourself of an addiction:

#1: Choose to believe that if you’ve chosen the reality you now exist in, that you can change that reality.

#2: Choose to believe that you can change the beliefs that have been ingrained within you.

#3: Understand that you do not need to follow the group dynamics that have been set up for you previously.

#4: Choose to accept a facilitator of some kind to help you overcome those addictions.

I truly believe that everything that has made you a failure to this point is because of some addiction to something that has prevented you from succeeding. Be it booze, smoking, gambling, drugs, sex, pornography, negativity, fear of success, or whatever.

And, I know that when you apply certain principles that involve not tips or tricks, but actual lifestyle changes, YOU Can Overcome All Of Those, And Begin Succeeding.

We’ll look at the next steps which include understanding that beating addiction involves lifestyle changes and changing your circle of friends in the next couple of steps.

Make it a great day!

Brother Paul

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Third Step To Beating Addiction–Understanding Group Dyn–

Monday, October 26th, 2009

Hi,

So far, we understand that we have to create our own reality.

But, you also need to understand group dynamics.’

No, this won’t be some boring college class that shows flow charts and graphs and uses quantum analysis that will have you snoozing away.

Here’s how group dynamics works:

A dog hears a noise that it can’t place.

It begins barking.

Other dogs hear the barking, and they immediately begin barking, also.

It didn’t matter that the noise was not a threat.

The first dog perceived it to be a threat, and so sent out a warning signal to all others around it.

The other dogs also know that it is their job to pass on the warning signal–

EVEN THOUGH THEY DON’T KNOW WHAT TRIGGERED IT!

The dogs fell into peer pressure to pass on what they had been ingrained to do. They barked, because somebody else barked.

Let me give you another example:

They took five monkeys and put them in a cage that had stairs in it, with bananas at the top of the stairs.

Whenever a monkey went to go get the bananas, they were shot down with a hose.

Then, they turned off the hose system, and took out one of the monkeys, and put in a new monkey.

When the new monkey went for the bananas, the other four held the new monkey back.

They then continued to replace the monkeys one at a time, taking out one of the original monkeys, and replacing it with a new monkey.

Each time the new monkey went for the bananas, the other monkeys held the new monkey back.

Remember, the hose has been turned off. There is no more danger in going after the bananas–

But the monkeys keep holding the new monkeys back.

Even when all of the original monkeys had been replaced, all the new monkeys held any other monkey added to the mix from going after the bananas.

Well, what does this have to do with beating addiction?

It’s simple:

When you have a group that has been taught a wrong way to beat addiction, the group members will pass on that wrong method, even when things have changed.

Some people have had success with the Anonymous method, and to them I say, “Good for you!”

But, then there are those that don’t succeed and fall right back into their addiction, and they don’t know why.

It’s because they are with the wrong group who have been taught the wrong way.

More later!

Make it a great day!

Brother Paul

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The Second Step In Beating Addiction Is To Stop The–

Sunday, October 18th, 2009

Hi everyone,

Once you understand that you create your own reality, and that you can change your reality, you have to learn that everything you’ve been taught is this:

A LIE!

Your parents may have told you years ago: “You’ll never amount to anything.”

And, YOU believed them.

Why?

Because they were your parents.

Your parents aren’t supposed to lie.

And, to be honest, they didn’t mean to lie, most likely.

They were trying to get you to kick-start yourself.

But, they didn’t understand how the human mind works.

Your mind was designed to believe whatever it is told.

Let me demonstrate.

If I’m standing in front of you right now, and I say, –

Hold on, before I continue that.

Don’t look right now, right next to your foot is biggest hairiest spider I’ve ever seen.

Did your heart accelerate for a minute when you read that?

(And, if there actually was a big hairy spider, I apologize, but I’m glad I warned you in time.)

You see, your mind, for just a split second, may well have believed that you had a spider at your feet.

And, your body reacted by a quickening of the pulse. And, a fear started to set in.

And, even though it was a lie–

your mind and body reacted as though it were the truth.

And, that’s what’s happened your whole life.

The government will tell you that college is your best shot at success.

Yet, Bill Gates and Steve Jobs, (Microsoft and Apple) respectively, never completed college.

Do you start to get the idea?

Just because you’ve been told something from a person in authority that you respect–

DOES NOT MAKE IT THE TRUTH!

But, that was part of your reality.

So, for example, when somebody tells you that quitting smoking is six times harder than quitting heroin–

you have chosen the reality to believe that.

(I can’t testify to that fact, because I never did heroin.)

But, even though you now know that might not be the truth, how do you apply that information to help you to quit whatever your addiction is?

Next time, we’ll explore that.

(Ain’t you glad this isn’t a television series finale that will make you wait until next January to see how it ends up?)

Make it a great day!

Brother Paul (For The Living Large Gang)

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The Very First Step In Beating Your Addiction

Saturday, October 17th, 2009

Hi everybody,

Welcome to Living Large In A Small Town On No Budget.

The very first step in beating your obstacles and your addictions is quite simply the only statement that nobody can dispute.

Pay attention now.

Here’s the one fact that nobody can dispute:

Through the events you experience and the surroundings you are in, YOU create YOUR own reality.

Let me clarify that for you.

I know, through my own experiences, that God is a reality.

Yet, there are others who claim, through their own experiences that he is not a reality.

How is this possible? Aren’t we on the same planet? Don’t we breathe the same air?

Yes, we do.

But, yet both my reality and their reality are complete polar opposites.

Well, then, who is right?

We both are. (Although I think I’m “righter” than they are. And, I’m sure they are making the same claim.)

But, let’s say that you accept this indisputable argument.

How can that help you overcome your obstacles and your addictions?

I’ll come back to that in a later blog.

But, understand this: in the current accepted model of “treating” (notice those who choose that path state that an addiction can never be cured, only treated), the reality is that number one: YOU CANNOT BE CURED!

That model of addiction also states as a reality that once you have tasted or partaken in the addiction, YOU ARE ADDICTED!

But, I’m here to tell you, that through my experiences, I KNOW those are not realities at all.

So, how do we get you to change your reality, and beat your addictions.

That’s what our main website: http://livinglargeonnobudget.com

is about.

Curious? Want to know more?

Go there and sign up for our newsletter.

Make it a great day!

Brother Paul

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